4 Months Later: Reflections on my personal growth

Tuesday 22nd October marks 20 weeks since being home, the same amount of time I was in America for. It’s been a strange few months, in ways that I didn’t anticipate, but life is finally feeling more back to normal and I’ve been able to reflect on how I’ve been growing since getting back.

America was a massive time of growth for me - I know everyone who studies abroad says how it was ‘life-changing’ and ‘unforgettable’ but it really was! Living away from home for the first time was crazy, I discovered just how big and exciting the world is, and I learned new things about friendship and people in general. It was a huge leap outside my comfort zone and I’m proud to say that my comfort zone has expanded as a result.

Another really big part of the growth I went through is to do with my faith. Near the end of my time abroad I went to a Christian student camp in upstate New York called Basileia and even today I’m still very much dwelling in what I experienced there. It was a big step in my faith journey for many reasons that deserve a whole blog post of their own! But in short, it allowed me to advance in my relationship with God in a way I’ve needed to for a long time. It helped me to realise just how much I need his guidance and support in my life, and I became aware of a few specific areas that I wanted to grow in. I was worried that the experience would fade soon after returning home, but 4 months later I am continuing to flourish through what I learned at Basileia. God is still faithfully doing that work in me and constantly revealing new things in unexpected ways, and I am still excited and passionate about deepening my relationship with him more than ever before.

One thing I realised at Basileia I wanted to change, and needed God’s help in after years of failing to change it by myself, is my general productivity and use of time. I’ve always been a big procrastinator and it can be very frustrating. But I’ve just finished my third week back at university and I’ve already developed a much more productive and healthy routine than… ever before? It’s not perfect by any means. But I’m waking up at roughly the same time everyday, my mornings aren’t rushed, I’m working as much as possible during the day and saving leisure time for the evenings and weekends, and I’m using that leisure time to actually do things I care about instead of mindlessly falling down the dark hole of YouTube. My social media time is even feeling somewhat more productive as much of my time on Facebook is spent reading posts about the Curly Girl Method (even my hair is changing!), and I’ve started following lots of enneagram accounts on Instagram, which leads me onto my next point…

The last few weeks I’ve been researching a lot into the enneagram (a personality typing system), and it’s been absolutely fascinating. I’m constantly discovering things about myself that I didn’t notice before, and learning to understand other people’s perspectives a lot better. (I’m a type 9 if anyone is wondering, and I would love to know what type you are!) I’m learning about the importance of using my voice and sharing my opinions and preferences, because they are just as valuable as anyone else’s. This is already manifesting itself in my classes as I’m feeling more able to answer questions and contribute ideas than before, and in general conversation I’m starting to recognise more often when I have something to say.

Everything I’m learning from the enneagram goes hand in hand with what I learned in America and at Basileia about being more open and vulnerable with people in order to create really meaningful relationships. I’m slowly but surely diving deeper into my relationships with the people around me which is really hard and there’s a lot of people I still haven’t really broached that with. But I’m very aware of the difference it makes and I’m so thankful for this new level of connection I’ve discovered I can reach with people. It’s also allowing me to be a much better friend; I’ve still got a long way to go but I’m beginning to understand what it really means to love those around me.

This is a very brief overview of the main areas of change I’m seeing and working on in my life since being in America. This got pretty deep, but it does feel like deep stuff that’s been going on! I know that these aren’t all typical lessons from study abroad, and that some of it might seem unrelated to my time in America, but it really has all stemmed from those experiences. There’s a lot more I could cover but these are the things that have particularly been on my mind the last few days/weeks and maybe further down the line I’ll go into more depth.

I’m very aware that there’s a lot of people who I’m close to who’ll be reading this like ‘what? I had no idea any of this was happening?’ and I really am sorry for that, that’s part of the whole being open thing I’m working on… It’s quite nerve-racking posting something so personal as this, but thank you for reading it and for any support and kindness you’ve given me on my previous posts, especially my Red Hawk Diner one! I’m looking forward to continuing to be a little more open about my experiences :)

"Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God's love and keep you strong." Ephesians 3:17